i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
