do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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