i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
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