drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
