He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
