Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
