Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Randomize
