South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Randomize
