Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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