I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
