I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Randomize
