Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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