Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Even my vagina gasped.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Randomize
