Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
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