hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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