who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Randomize
