you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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