I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
if only i could text you this smell
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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