she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
