i jhust puked up my retainher.
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Randomize
