He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
