Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
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