I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
