It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Randomize
