I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
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