I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Your dad touched me again.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
When are your genitals available?
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
