So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
