Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
You're breaking my sexual little heart
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
