She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
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