The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
I'm always down for nudity.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
