How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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