i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
