I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Randomize
