if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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