He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
You have to summon your inner elephant
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Randomize
