Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I would ride that face into the sunset
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
