He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
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