dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize