When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
