There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
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