I met the friendliest cop last night
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Randomize
