it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
