Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
