and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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