Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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