We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
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