8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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