That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Randomize
