So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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