How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Randomize
