I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Randomize
