Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Randomize
