hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
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