Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Randomize
