I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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