Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
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