I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
They are going to name an STD after you.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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