i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
