Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Just fell off a train. Bad.
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Dick very happy bro
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize