Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Randomize
