i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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