My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Randomize
