Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
