Pappa wants mamma naked
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
