how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
